Monthly Archives: June 2012

5 Ways to Take Care of Self

Posted on June 22, 2012 | 1 Comment

As military spouses we like to wear suits of armor and lead a life where we can take it all on and nothing can stop us.  But, is that really true?  When we are left behind to play all roles, can we really do it without thought to our own self?  I don’t think so…. Maybe there are some spouses who can do it all and never take time to see a movie with friends or get a massage. However, I don’t find that healthy; do you?  It is important to the health of our family that we care for ourselves.  I know exactly what I need to do for myself so that I can be 100% for my children and husband.  And…. I know when I am not giving back to myself.  What do I do for myself?  Here are the tools I use….

1. Exercise!  I remember the day I decided that exercise was about me and no one else.  We had just returned to Japan from visiting family in the states.  In my tired jet lagged mind I thought to myself, “I do so much for my kids, they can do this one thing for me for just 30 mins.” And from that moment forward it has been a priority.  It burns off my extra pent up energy and helps me stay less stressed.  I used a jogging strollers, base Fitness facilities, daycare and now Stroller Warriors.  There is always time, you just have to decide it is about you and no one else and make it a priority.

2.  Daycare!  This is a controversial one for sure but, I firmly believe we milspouses need it.  Not just so that we can go to doctor/dentist appointments but for time to ourselves. In past blogs I talk about using hourly CDC care when my boys were babies.  Now, I use babysitters.  No guilt here!  Sometimes it is just so nice to sit in a coffee shop and read a book or meet friends for lunch, ALONE.  One mom told me a long time ago that daycare was “mommy crack” and she was right!

3.  Support Groups. Support groups can range from Navy Compass to FRGs to Wives.. oops…. Spouses Clubs (men don’t really join them, do they?) to Athletic Clubs.  I am sure if you ask around you will find one.  Most military installations have them.  For me right now I have my Stroller Warriors.  Sure, we meet up with our kids and run but we also go our for happy hour.  They are my life line, a group of women that keep me laughing and inspire me.  We are there for each other through it all and because we are all milspouses, we can relate to each others’ problems and support one another through them.

4.   Girls/guys nights and dates with your spouse.  Seems like such simple advice but there are way too many milspouses out there who dedicate all their time and energy into their children, jobs and volunteer efforts.  Take time to cultivate those friendships from Facebook and date your spouse so that you don’t lose touch with the person you married.  Someday those little people who vie for attention won’t be around on a daily basis and you don’t want to wake up and realize you don’t know your husband/wife anymore or that you don’t really have friends.

5.  Have a hobby that is all your own.  Find something (social media doesn’t count) that is just for you and you alone.  This includes hobbies like knitting, reading, gardening and scrapbooking.  I like knitting (although, I don’t do it often) and reading.  I also run half marathons which I did because my entire life’s accomplishments where about my children and I wanted something that was solely mine.  Knitting a sweater for a very dear friend’s new baby also made me feel that way.   You will need something when your kids go off to school.  Those first few days are wonderfully peaceful and then they become a little boring.  It is also important that your children understand that not everything is about them.  There are some things in life that are just about Mommy or Daddy and trust me, they will champion you onto those accomplishments!

So, take off your suits of armor and let your guard down, grab a friend or spouse and a glass of wine and enjoy yourself.  You deserve the time!  You deserve that pedicure and massage with your best friend. You deserve a date with your spouse and enjoy dinner without interruptions from children. You deserve to take  care of YOU!!!

What do you do to relax and take care of yourself?

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Milspouse

Tagged , , ,

Happy Father’s Day to Military Dads

Posted on June 15, 2012 | 1 Comment

With Father’s Day being on Sunday I am going to deter from my usually format and write about how great our Military dads are.  It isn’t easy being a dad on Active Duty and I know this because I witness how much my husband misses with our boys.  He has missed birthdays, Scouting promotions, sports events and much more.  Yet, somehow he is always there, too.  My husband manages to be heavily involved in all aspects of our children’s lives. It all started when our oldest son went to pre-school. He was on the Executive Board because partaking in the regular mandatory volunteer hours wasn’t enough!  Being the snack parent for soccer wasn’t good enough either, he had to coach even though he didn’t know how.  Think he could  just  be a parent that sees to it that our Cub Scout went door to door selling popcorn?  No, not my husband!  He served as the Ass. Cub Scout Master and now the Committee Chair.  He can’t always be in the boys classrooms at school for all their various events but he sure knows what is going!  He serves on a board there, too.

Sure, my husband does a lot but you know what?  So do most Mildads!  It amazes me the amount of fathers who will work long days and then come home scoop up their children and head out the door to coach their sports teams, be leaders for their Boy Scout Packs, hold positions on the PTO and so much more.  These guys might miss out on so much of their children’s lives but they also give up so much of their own free time if means doing something with their children.  I am completely in awe of these men who coach soccer teams in uniform or sacrifice their lunch break for a school event.

Our military children are so lucky to have men like these to look up to; with such honor and dedication to not just country but also family.  In our home the sun rises sets on my husband.  He is a hero to our children and I believe it is because he does so much for them to ensure they are well rounded.  My husband will work a long ten hour day and come home tired and yet, he will play video games, throw footballs, teach them to ride their bikes and read bedtime stories.  It’s no wonder our boys admire him so much. But, this is how our mildads role!  No day is too long and tiring to not spend an hour playing with their children and escape the troubles of their jobs.

Happy Father’s Day Mildads!!! Especially my husband; today is in honor of you!

What amazing things do your husband’s do for your children despite their hectic military careers?

→ 1 Comment

Posted in Children, Marriage

Tagged , , , ,

5 Tips for Living in Base Housing

Posted on June 8, 2012 | Leave a comment

A little more than six years ago I drove away from the first and only house we owned.  It was our first major purchase the year we were married, where we started our married life and brought our first son home to. But, sadly it wasn’t our forever home because we were ordered overseas and so our journey into government housing began.  There are pros and cons to this type of living and I try really, really hard to focus on the pros because it is where I’m at for now and it isn’t changing anytime soon.  Some maybe reading this thinking, “Pros? There are NO pros to housing! It was an awful experience I never want to visit again!”  Trust me, I have those feelings, too.  However, I am not the sort of person to choose to focus on the cons because I have these two little people who need to see good in the world.  Here is how I do it:

1.  Make “nice” with the neighbors.  For the past six years while living in housing we haven’t had one issue with our neighbors.  If a problem arises we simple talk to them about it, like loud music or kids fighting.  We have to live next to these people and the last thing anyone wants is to be in constant turmoil with your neighbors.  So, even if the family next to you isn’t your “cup of tea” just be nice, say “hi” when coming and going.  This makes it so easy to just live day to day without the worry that security will be called for something simple and mundane.

2.  Follow the rules and regulations.  Following the rules and “regs” may seem so simple but you wouldn’t believe (or maybe you do) the amount of people who will go out of their way just break those rules because they don’t like them.  But… when you do, it makes life a little easy to just live.  There are no annoying notes on the door or calls from housing or stress about what will happen if maintenance workers are in the house or what will happen if the neighbors report you and so on.  Do yourself a huge favor and just follow the policies you agreed to when you signed your lease.  If is too much to ask, then don’t live in base housing (PPV).

3.  Know where your kids are and stay outside while 5 and younger play.  Small children need parental supervision and most bases require it (see tip #2).  If you children are old enough to play outside alone know where they will be and who they are with.  Housing can be a safe haven for kids to freely run and play and for us, milspouses, to catch a break BUT the base has rules and the kids need to follow them, too.  You, the parent, are responsible for them if they get into hot water.  Keeping track of their whereabouts on base and/or in housing will help keep them out of trouble.  I always make surprise visits to my son when he is outside just to make sure he isn’t doing something he isn’t suppose to.

4.  Follow posted speed limits.  This is strictly about safety!  Also, stay off your cell phones! Kids will dart into the street without looking.  Following the speed limit will also help keep the neighbors happy (see tip #1).  Enough said on that one…..

5.  Follow  Management Company on social media.  Social media has become the way to disseminate information the quickest and it is the best way PPV companies can communicate with residents.  It is real time and there is no need to wait for flyers to go out.  Another advantage is that you can post questions here if you are moving into the area or questions for the management company.  Just keep in mind that it is social media and everyone can read what you are posting. Be polite and remember OPSEC always!

While we are ready to move on from housing and own a home again, living in base housing has been a good experience for us.  It has given me an instant community, safe place for our children to play and worry free home care on our limited budget. Base housing can have it’s cons for sure, like when our water heater died when family was visiting or coming home to a broken AC unit after spending all day at an air show.  There is also the loud neighbors and random children playing late at night BUT we are all in it together and if you use one more of these tips it can be manageable and even pleasant. I have met some of my best friends living in housing.  So, with the bad comes the good.

→ Leave a comment

Posted in Housing

Tagged , ,

MilSpouse (first) Friday Fill-In #72: Questions for Tomorrow

Posted on June 1, 2012 | 2 Comments

Thank you Wife of Sailor for hosting!!  Here are my answered for this month’s meme!

1. What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?

I would have been more understanding about my hubby’s work schedule.  He was gone a lot and I gave him a hard time about it.  As if it is something new ;) .

2. What was your favorite thing that happened in May? 

I was made our OMB Assembly Chair!! Super excited to not only serve my families but my fellow Ombudsman!!!

3. June includes the first day of summer… what are your plans for the summer?

Camps for the kids, lots of pool time and a trip up north to visit family and escape the brutal heat of NOLA.

4. Do you use the services on base (gym, financial planning, family services, daycare)? And if so, what’s your favorite one? (thanks to Shanon at Modern Meets Traditional for this question!)

YES!!!! I have used all them!  Favorite….. hmmm… well, before my kids were in school it was the CDC and now it is the gym.

5. What are you looking forward to in June?

Watching my kiddos play soccer and swim. And a visit from a great friend!!

→ 2 Comments

Posted in Blog hop/roll

5 Reasons to Own a Pet While in the Military

Posted on June 1, 2012 | 2 Comments

This past week I read a blog on SpouseBUZZ about reasons to NOT own a pet while in the military and it got me thinking about why we SHOULD own pets.  The comments in response to that blog both on the SpouseBuzz website and their FB page were very strong and to my surprise, most responses were in favor of owning pets and how much those pets mean to their families.  I have written two blogs about our military pets; one about tips to owning a pet and one about PCSing with pets. In those posts I did talk about how much our pets mean to my family but didn’t really give solid reasons why it is important to own them.  These are my reason but let me say first that this is strictly my opinion and not based on facts!

1. Companion during deployments.  In those comments on SpouseBUZZ I read over and over again about how people’s “fur babies” kept them company during the night while their spouse was deployed.  It is no different for me!  My dog doesn’t routinely sleep with us but when my hubby is away I call her to fill that empty space (the cats are always there).

2.  Consistency for children.  I firmly believe that pets give our military children a sense of stability and consistency in life.  Milkids will grow up in many different homes, in different cities all over the world and go to different schools with different kids but when they come home those wagging tail(s) will always be the same.  My husband and I have had life without our dog but our kids haven’t and I don’t know that they understand that someday there will be and for now that is okay.  They need to live with idea that for now she will always be there when they walk through the door no matter what house we live in.

3.  Dogs make great protectors.  For those who love dogs, this tip is just for you….. I agreed on a dog (I am not a dog person by nature) because my husband was gone a lot and I wanted the feeling of safety.  I realize that Macy is more likely to make friends with the people who come through the door and now in her old age she doesn’t bark when husband comes in late but initially she was my first alarm that something was up in the still of the night time.  This was so crucial to me once our first son was born because now it wasn’t just me anymore.  So, in my opinion, dogs make a great first alarm and provide a sense of security on lonely nights.

4.  They get you moving.  When our husband/wife is gone on lengthy TDY’s or deployment it can be depressing but when you don’t have children to get you out of bed your pet will.  They have needs that need to be met like being fed and walked and played with. Even though I have children, they are in school and it is so easy to just plant myself on the couch for the day but then those sad doggy eyes look up at me with a wagging tail just asking for a walk and I get up.  She keeps me moving…..

5.  When life isn’t fair there is Dogs on Deployment!  In my other two pet blogs I also mention this organization as well as it being listed on my Resource page.  Our military life isn’t always fair and even the best owners are faced with hard decisions, like having a pitbull they love but are forced to live in government housing with breed restrictions.  This amazing organization helps service members and their families find temporary homes through a fostering till they can be reunited again.

I realize that we all have our own individual feelings about animals and the author of that blog on SpouseBUZZ has her own.  For me and my family our pets are worth any hassle that comes with owning pets while serving in the military.  Our life just wouldn’t feel complete without them.  How about you? Are your pets worth it?

→ 2 Comments

Posted in Pets

Tagged , , ,