Monthly Archives: May 2012

Tips For Family Visits

Posted on May 25, 2012 | 1 Comment

I firmly believe that as a military spouse the best phone calls are those from family saying they are coming for a visit….. or are they? Having the extra hands is always welcomed and it is always nice to have company that loves you no matter what.  However, it can also be challenging.  Visits with family can be sparse due to location and we, the military family, become accustom to doing things our own way and so when family visits we can feel sort of lost as to what to do.  Do we sit around and visit or go to all the tourist attractions or both?  Should they stay with us? But, the house is kinda small?  The kids are in school, should we take them out?  I know that some of these questions are personal and really only the individual can truly answer them but I have tips to help! Don’t I always :) ?

1.  Talk with your family about their expectations for the visit?  I know my family comes and we hit the streets running! But, my husband’s is a little different. They may have one or two things to do.  The last thing you would want to do is expect to go to all the tourist attractions when all Grandma wants to do is stay home and play with her grandchildren or vise versa.  So set the tone ahead of time so everyone knows what is coming and this will help with tip #2.

2.  Keep kids home if a major outing is planned.  I say (and this is how we do it) that if  an outing is planned keep kids home and if not then send kids to school.  I wouldn’t want my kids to miss out on family time and the photo ops!  However, as a parent you should do what is best for your child and family.

3.  Small house? Hotels are a great option!  For years I crammed my family into our tiny house and then they asked about lodging on base and we all jumped on it.  For now our house is too small and we feel like we are on top of each other plus we aren’t used to many visitors and so it helps my little family catch a break.  Most bases have  base lodging.  At our little base it is Navy Gateway Inns and Suites and it is a godsend!

4.  Ask for help!  I remember one family visit I felt like I never left the kitchen and I was exhausted! Now, I step up and ask for help cleaning up and cooking. Don’t stress over the cleanliness of your home, ask for someone to help with the kitchen duties so you can relax and visit, too.

5.  Ask that everyone contributes financially.  Visiting family cost can add up.  Between food and outings it can get pretty expensive.  I know I feel like I should be paying for everything especially the food we eat at our house but feeding 11 people (yes, I had that many at one point) is just too costly.  I am lucky both sides pitch in without us asking but it might not be the case for everyone.  Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask to split the bill at your next meal, your family might be relieved you asked.

6.  FREE babysitters!!! If you are a couple who doesn’t go out much take advantage of visiting family and have a date night.  Most times your visiting family would love to watch the kids while you have a date with your honey.  Even though we have a list of sitters it is still nice to go out and not have the extra expense.

In closing, I have one last tip… I am sure my family may read this and not be too happy but here is goes….. From my mother, “Fish and company stink after three days!”  Sure, we don’t see them often and everyone wants to spend as much time as possible together but if you are the type who doesn’t like a messy house or are living on a budget or in generally don’t like your space invaded it is okay to give a length family can stay.  I love when my family comes to visit it means helping hands and fun times but I am also always ready to see them go.  So, don’t let visiting family stress you out (if that is what happens… I know it can for me) and use one or more of these tips to have a great visit!

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Posted in Travel, Uncategorized

PCS With Pets

Posted on May 18, 2012 | Leave a comment

The orders have come in and immediately the planning to move begins.  There are the schools and the house hunting and the packing and traveling, but what about those furry (or maybe not) friends we share our lives with?  PETS! We have to plan for them, too.  I can say first hand that this can be a lengthy process especially if you are moving overseas. Our dog has always moved with us and she has been around the world and I truthfully cannot imagine our lives without her.  For this to be true we have to take her best interest in to account when we make our travel arrangements.  I recall moving back to the states from Japan and I was so worried about her getting on each airplane we flew on.  Desperately looking out the window for her kennel and watching that she was gently placed in cargo for the flight.  Then we arrive and had to leave her in the care of others because we didn’t have a home yet.  But, how did we come to make the decision to take her to Japan and back and what did we do ensure she remained healthy and safe?  With these tips!

Lazy Jack Russel

1.  Visit the vet first!  When you receive your orders make a call to the vet and get all vaccines up to date and if you are heading overseas start the overseas screening process.  I highly recommend going through the Army Vet for overseas screening.  They know all the regulations for every country.

2.  Make a checklist of all the supplies your pet will need during your transfer.  On this list you should include items like vaccine records, health certificate (if overseas), bowls, food, leashes, treats, toys and so on.  Things you think your pet will need while displaced from home.  One thing we always bring with us for Macy is her blanket.  I believe like kids, special items helps them feel at ease.  A security item can be anything and for Macy it is the blanket she sleeps on every night.

3.  Ask future landlords (housing or private) if pets are allowed and what the regulations are!  I have mentioned this in a different blog about pets and I will say it again…. Ignorance is NOT bliss!  Ask!!!  Some privatized housing offices (PPV) will be more relaxed than others but I wouldn’t take that chance.  Where I currently live, breed restriction is no joke and they don’t care if you knew or not!

4.  Place your pet in a kennel while traveling.  A seatbelt would work to if you have a very large dog or not enough space (like us). But…. kennels are best.  Also, make sure your pet wears their rabies and ID (contact information) tags.  This is for their ultimate safety in the event something terrible happens like a car accident.

5. Plan financially for their travel.  Sure, DoD pays us for almost all of our travel expenses when we PCS but not our pets and those cost add up.  If you plan on flying your pet it will cost several hundred dollars.  There have been some changes to assistance military families with those cost but there are still costs, even if you take a military charted plane.  Call airlines and hotels ahead of time and ask for fee quotes and start saving!

6.  Have cats? Put them in a carrier while the packers are there!  I knew a family who had their cat packed in a box and when their shipment arrived they found their poor beloved cat not alive.  This is a true story, don’t let it be yours.  When the packers come, put your kitty in a carrier and place it in your secure place with your other belongings you don’t want packed.  Oh and take your dogs to a neighbors during this time.  Pets can get really scared during pack outs, so taking steps like these can ease that stress just a little.

7.  When you can’t take your pet there is Dogs On Deployment (DOD)! I believe that in a perfect world pets owners would never have to leave their pets behind but sometimes the universe has other plans.  It could be because the tour will be short and the cost too high or the only home you could find doesn’t allow pets; what ever the reason there is an option and lucky for us DOD was born! For more information there is a link under the Resource page.

Even Lazier Cats

Our pet family has grown during this tour to include two cats and even though we are a year from moving I am already planning for their needs.  This means keeping up with vaccines and starting to collect items like carriers and collars and tags (for the cats). One kitty still needs a microchip and that will need to be done before we pull out for our next adventure.  It is never to soon to start!  Our pets are very much family member to us and will never be left behind and it is possible with these tips.

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Posted in PCS, Pets, Travel

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Military Spouse Appreciation Day Blog Hop

Posted on May 11, 2012 | 2 Comments
Today the ladies at Household 6 Diva and Wife on a the Roller Coaster are hosting a blog hop!  Thank you for giving blogging milspouses a place to meet and share their stories!!
Hi, my name is Kate and I am the blogger for Tips from the Homefront.
I began my military spouse journey six years ago when I left active duty (9 years) to follow my sailor husband to Japan. I met my husband 12 years ago when he walked into the command and it was love at first sight (sorta….)!  I just knew he would be a man I could see loving for the rest of my life and here we are today with two energetic boys (8 and 5), one lazy jack russell and two even lazier cats and currently serving duty station number 3 and waiting for orders for number 4.
 Me and hubby Mardi Gras 2012
(Yes… the Navy has float! I know.. so cool!)
 Energetic boys on the beach 2011
(Like the random guy in the background?)
For the past two years I have had the privilege to serve the Navy as an Ombudsman and I loved it so much I decided to start a blog to pass on the information I have gained and continue to gain through this service.  The goal of my blog is bring my readers tips and resources for everyday military life.  I feel as though knowledge is power and we military spouses need to have a lot to survive this life!
Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to all the milspouses wearing suits of armor while sipping wine!!

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Posted in Blog hop/roll

Five Reasons To Live This Military Life

Posted on May 11, 2012 | 4 Comments

Ironically, when I started blogging and decided to post on Fridays I didn’t realize that I would be posting on Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  So, this week is in honor of all the spouses both MEN and WOMEN who stay behind and fulfill all the roles on the homefront…. mother, father, chef, taxi driver, banker, housekeeper, friend and confidant.  We marry these men and women in uniform and willing take on this sacrifice and ask nothing in return (well, except maybe our benefits).  We are what some call “the silent ranks”; quietly waving good-bye with smiles that hide our real feelings of fear and sadness of the many days, months and sometimes years that lie ahead.  But, why do we make this commitment not only to the person we love but to their chosen profession?  That is a question that can only be answered by the one being asked.  Here are my reasons:

1. I love this lifestyle.  Strangely, I like moving frequently.  It gives me the chance to clean out the old and anxiously plan the new.  I like knowing I have friends all over the globe while knowing I have a stable environment back home with family.  We are unique in our lifestyle and I enjoy telling others about it.

2.  I am raising strong and resilient children.  I truly feel as though our boys will grow up with life experiences that will give them advantages later in life.  To endure and take on any challenge they are given and make the best of any bad situation.

3.  I don’t worry about doctor bills.   Sure, there are the usually complaints about waiting at the doctor office or TriCare screwed up the referral but at the end of the day…. we paid no money.  I like having the piece of mind that my son can break both arms (true story for another blog) and we didn’t have to worry about the bills is priceless.

4.  Traveling!  Because of the Navy I have been to four countries and many, many states through traveling either by choice or by orders.  My family has been lucky to experience places most people never will and we aren’t even done yet!

5. He is my best friend.  From the moment I first laid eyes on my husband I knew he was different.  I tell him everything, my one true confidant.  I will do anything for him, even if means being left behind. After all, I did promise him that I would follow him all over the globe.

It is my hope that on this day you, the military spouse, feel honored and appreciated.  Some days can feel as though this isn’t the case but not today!  Today is for you.  Go do something for you whether it is a pedicure or a much needed night out with friends. Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to every spouse in every branch of service!!

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Posted in Uncategorized

10 Things MilSpouses Need to Know

Posted on May 4, 2012 | 2 Comments

As some may know,  I spent nine years on active duty and so for me many customs and traditions are second nature but many spouses are left in the dark.  Maybe their husbands want to come home and not think about work and so they don’t bring it up.  Or some spouses still live in their hometowns when they are first married and don’t really find the need to really get aquatinted with the military and many other reasons.  However, there are some “need to knows” for all spouses.  After all,  we not only married a really handsome man in uniform but we married the military, too.  We owe it to ourselves to be informed so that when they leave us for a deployment we know what to do and who we can turn to.

1.   Acronyms!  POA, DOD, SSN, MWR, PPV, CO, XO, and on and on they go.  Learn them!!!!  There are just so many and the military as whole uses them for everything!  Ask your spouses to give you a list of the most important ones and don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t know.  Even with all my years I still have to think about what one means if I haven’t seen it in a long time.

2.   Get a POA (Power of Attorney)! All Milspouses should have one because you can’t get anything done without it if your husband (or wife) is deployed.  When I say “anything”, I mean it!  This is everything from taxes to ID cards to Tricare.  You name it!  They are very easy to obtain; just visit your Legal Assistance office and they can help you with all your questions.  Just make sure you bring the one in uniform because without them, you won’t get your POA.

3.  Know what “Colors” is and the etiquette.  For those reading who have no idea what “Colors” is here is the short explanation:  It is when the base plays the Nation Anthem in the morning (sunrise) and a bugle call in the evening (sunset). You are to stop and face the music, no matter what you are doing (outside).  It is a tradition very near and dear to the hearts of service members.  A time to stop and remember the fallen.  Be respectful and stop!

4.  Know your husband’s personal and work information.  Every milspouse should be able to rattle off their husband (or wife’s) DOB (date of birth), SSN, duty phone,  and command.  Every time you go the doctor, you’ll need it.  When you do just about anything involved with paper work, you will need this.  Learn it and memorize it!  Or do what I do and put it on your phone.

5.  Know who you are talking to.  I can’t stress enough the importance of knowing who the chain of command is for your spouse.  Know who their wives are, too. Sometimes they want to hear your concerns and other times they don’t.  Sure, it is okay to sit outside at the playground griping about how your husband has duty, AGAIN, but not at a command function.  Keep those conversations to small talk and only voice concerns when directly asked.

6.  Watch what you wear!  Oh, ladies, please, please go to FFSC and get an etiquette guide and learn what to wear to what function.  They have them and if not, you can find the information on Military OneSource.  Here’s one reason why:  I was at a ceremony  and the incoming (or outgoing, can’t remember) CO’s wife was wearing a skirt just way to short and well, the official party, band and everyone else upfront got a full view of her undergarments (true story). Mini skirts are great for the dance club not a ceremony.

7.  Always have a plan and be flexible.  Most spouses will tell you that military life is full of the unexpected.  Like just last month we had huge night planned for my birthday only to have my husband get called to go on a short trip. UGH! There should always be plan A (the one you want), B and then C.  Try as you might to not be to disappointed if you have to turn to C.  This is the life we married into and all will be okay if learn to except what you can’t control and ALWAYS have plan B and C in your back pocket.

8.  Know who the neighbors are.  I will be the first one to tell you that I like to keep to myself but I also know that it is important to know your neighbors and be at the very least friendly with them.  You never know, your new next door neighbor could turn out to be your new BFF for the next three years.  I will give one reason why… a few weeks ago, I was sick and at the doctor ( younger son with me), husband at work and I forgot my older son had an early dismissal.  I ran into another family and they mentioned it, quickly called a neighbor to get my forgotten child till I could get home.  Reason enough?  I think so!

9.  The Navy, Army, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard comes first.  I really hate this, I mean really passionately do not like this but it is a fact.  In my perfect world me and my children would be number one always but not so.  Defending our country and everyone in it, including us comes first.  It has been a fight for us many times over and I know my man does his best.  I know he loves us and our time to be at the top of list will come someday but not now.  Just a fact of life we have to live with and accept no matter how much we despise it.

10.  Know who your Ombudsman, FRO or Key Spouse is!!!  These people are the go to for everything under the sun.  They live by a Code of Ethics that binds them to confidentiality within reason.  There are some things, like abuse, they have to report but when you need a shoulder to cry on they are there.  When you need a number you can’t find, they have it.  When you need to complain about your husband having duty, AGAIN and you could go into labor at any moment, you can call them. You can call them for just about everything.  Your ultimate link between you and your spouse’s command.

In closing,  I want to thank all the spouses who contributed their thoughts on what they would consider to be a “need to know”.  Also, thank you to Wife of a Sailor for the inspiration to write this week’s blog.  In fact she has a whole page of acronyms.  Stop by and check out her list!

Finally,  Let me hear what your “need to know” would be if it isn’t on this list.

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Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized

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